Last call before boarding….

Today, I received a text message from my aunt, telling me that my dad had almost slipped into a coma.  All I could do right now is pray, pray that he’ll come home to where he truly belongs.I managed to talk to him last Saturday night. I called him up. He could barely talk since I was told that he was on respirator. The good thing about it is he can hear me on the phone. I proceeded to tell him everything that were needed to be said. All the things that were kept bottled up inside me over the years. The things that I should have said to him back then.

I broke down in tears, I couldn’t control my emotions anymore. He said some words which I barely understood, because he was whispering the whole time we talked.  I told him how I looked up to him despite what happened to us both. I said I was sorry for not being there for him to help deal with his “inner demons” during that time.

I told him how I love him, that I hope I have lived up to his expectations as a son. I wanted to know if he was proud of me, for everything that I did during the course of my life. He said he was proud of me, for overcoming any obstacles that came my way. He said that he was proud of me for being a musician, for finishing school and for getting a job.

I thanked him for influencing me on my music, because if it wasn’t for him, I would have never learned what rock and roll was all about. He influenced me in how to appreciate all types of music genres. I can never forget the times he’d made me listen to glam bands like Skid Row, Slaughter, RATT, Cinderella and many others.

I told him that I’ll always look up to him for inspiration in life. Finally, I said that he needs to go home to my lola and lolo up there. I know I will never get that chance to say goodbye to him so I said my goodbyes. Knowing with a heavy heart that he’ll be going away forever, I told him to be brave to wherever journey he might take after his sleep. 

I ended our conversation with me still crying…

And today, I’m listening to one of his favorite song from the glam band “Cinderella.” It made me remember him. This song probably sums up on what I’m feeling right now. I altered some of the lyrics since the song was written for a girl.

Dad, you may not be reading this right now, but I want you to know that your final trip is with him up above. I know you want to come home and I know you will be there soon..I’ll be taking the next trip someday as well..see you on the other side…

Heartbreak Station

Waiting at the station
Tears filling up my eyes
Sometimes the pain you hide
Burns like a fire inside
Look out my window
Sometimes its hard to see
The things you want in life
Come and go so easily

He took the last train out of my heart
He took the last train
And now I think Ill make a brand new start
He took the last train out of my heart

Watching the days go by
Thinking bout the plans we made
The days turn into years
Funny how they fade away
Sometimes I think of those days
Sometimes I just hide away
Waiting on that 9:20 train
Waiting on a memory

He took the last train out of my heart 
He took the last train
And now I think Ill make a brand new start
He took the last train out of my heart

My daddy’s on the fly and he’s never coming back
My love is like a steam train rolling down the tracks 

He took the last train
And now I think Ill make a brand new start

~ by roadworthyman on February 18, 2008.

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