How to be a karate kid in one week

1. Move out of your city and move to another city. (Ideal place? Tawi-tawi)
2. Make friends with them newbie friends. (Clearly, there must be some friends without fireams out there)
3. Pretend you know karate by throwing some of them Jacky Chan or Jet Li moves (three out of ten newbies would fall for this crap!)
4. Flirt with a new girl, who’s ex-boyfriend happens to be a leader of a communist gang (What did I tell you? This gets better!)
5. Challenge the new girl’s ex-boyfriend and his merry henchmen to a fight, and get yourself beat up for some sympathy from the new girl afterwards
6. Look for a friendly neighborhood handyman who looks like a Mr. Miyagi (If there aren’t, your friendly neighborhod faith healer will do.)
7. Ask him to train you karate, if he refuses, tell him how quack his motives for healing are.(Guaranteed, voodoo magic on your sorry buttocks!)
8. Tell him you’ll wash his old worn out bicycle.( Wax on, Wax off should be used)
9. Tell him you’ll paint his house with dutch boy paints (Side to Side should be used in this manner)
10. Tell him you’ll scrub the floor on his house by using a coconut shell( Saandaa Floorr technique!)
11. Tell the ex-boyfriend that you’re ready to face him again.(Make a poster and advertise this showdown for pure publicity!)
12. Challenge each of the ex-boyfriend’s henchmen to a mano to mano fight.(Ala tournament, that way you can ensure to beat their sorry asses. Read: No more gang up afterwards!)
13. Get yourself beat up by the ex-boyfriend to get his ego into tubular high(That’ll give the audience something to hate for!)
14. Rally yourself by using the crane technique to kick mondo ass(Wait! This wasn’t part of the training?Where the heck did you learn this?Ralph Macchio?)
15. Hit him in the nuts or better yet sweep his sorry-ass-for-an-excuse leg!
16. Savor the glory for a moment (First thing tomorrow, pack your sorry ass out of there, before ex-boyfriend daddy and henchmen hunt you down with actual mondo fire power!)

 

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~ by roadworthyman on June 2, 2008.

2 Responses to “How to be a karate kid in one week”

  1. i like #15! cobraaaaalalalala!

  2. haha! marc way lingaw! ;p i had fun reading your side comments dude.. 😀

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