An emotional year that was….
Well, another year is ending and already I’m starting to feel the effects of the incoming year 2009.
But, before I end 2008 by wishing happy holidays to everyone, let me sort of rant on the year that was for me:
First, my life took a sudden turn beginning January this year, when my dad was rushed to the hospital due to kidney and liver failures. Doctors tried in vain to save him, monitoring his progress day by day, night after night.
In between those weeks leading up to February, I kept calling him, talking to him, trying to assure him that everything was going to be alright. Sometimes, I ended getting choked up whenever he tried talking to me, since he was already on a respirator.
After being notified by his doctors about my dad’s worsening condition, I summoned all my courage and faith to actually tell him to go home and join our creator up there.
He did just that in the early hours of February 24.
In the middle of this year, I lost another important person. I lost a bestfriend, a lover, a listener, and an inspiration. No, she didn’t die(God forbid!). We parted ways with a heavy heart, mind, and an unknown future for us both.
Three years isn’t exactly something I will ever forget. We laughed, cried, shared stories, eating out in different restaurants, spent time travelling to different places over the span of three beautiful years that we were together.
I guess destiny was so cruel on this one. We tried working out things. Eventually, things just didn’t seemed to work out for both of us.
No regrets. She knows how much I cherished her, loved her with every bit of her entire being, listened to her hopes and dreams. Basically being there for her whenever she needed me the most during those times.
I thank her for everything. For the cares, the understanding, the support, the inspiration that I draw my strength from, and overall for being herself. Meeting her was one of the most beautiful and very happiest day of my life.
Late this year, I left my other band. I know it probably wasn’t the right time or possibly the right place. The recording has been great. The songs and arrangements are almost done. It was only a matter of time before we nailed everything into tape, and possibly start mastering the whole thing.
Suffice to say, there are just personal reasons and maybe some time off that I need to do which could probably affect the band’s regular gig skeds or recording time.
I choose to leave the band on a time when I needed to be by myself. I wish nothing, but the best for them. I am hoping they will continue the album and release it sometime next year.
For now, I am keeping myself busy dabbling in my dayjob, my other bands, some side projects here and there.
My takes for this year are:
Healing takes time. I am on my way to healing from her, although I am still in the stage of trying to accept my dad’s passing so to speak.
But I am getting there.
This year has been one incredible ride or journey for me. Where there was emotional pain and hurt, good and positive things also came into my life.
I met new friends, bands, learned a lot from recording and producing an album, playing in a short one night reunion with both of my former bands, the company of friends, bandmates, playing at the guitar festival, the endless and countless hours in the studio recording songs made up most of my healing therapy.
I am also thankful to my mom, who has been there for me. For the advices during those times when I needed them the most. My friends, my sister, my bro-law, my nieces and nephew for the much needed inspiration, words, love, comfort, and support.
I am thankful for these wonderful people who came at a time, when I needed a new source of strength and inspiration.
I realized that losing the ones that I considered important in my life this year is not the end for me, but rather a new beginning or chapter in my life.
A newfound destiny perhaps? A direction somewhat unclear? Who knows?
I learned a lot this year. Indeed, it has changed me as a person. Hence, the saying “nothing is permanent in this world but change.” rings true.
Whether changes can bring good or bad things in one’s life, you make a point to accept it no matter what. You mature from these changes and experiences. These are the things that I always keep in mind at all times.
My plans for 2009 are: Playing with reunited bands, recording in the studio, producing a band’s album, meeting new friends, taking more trips outside of Cebu, more fun in the sun, less on drinking, and hopefully(fingers crossing!) go work outside of this country.
As for love matters? That’ll take a backseat for now. I believe in things falling into the right place and the right time.
So, enough of my so-called “Maalala Mo Kaya” moments. I just wanna wish everybody a safe Merry ‘Xmas and a prosperous New Year!
Here’s to a new beginning and new chapter in my life in 2009. Cheers!